The week on my own was fun. I enjoyed it. I am looking forward to being alone for 2 whole weeks at the end of May/into June. Family holiday to Spain minus me. Heh. I never go anywhere with my family! It has been forever since we had a holiday abroad and seeing as I am going to Ibiza in July, I understand that my Mum thought I wouldn't mind if I didn't come in May.. I joke sometimes that I am the black sheep.. and that they don't love me.. but I don't mean it. My Mum thinks I do and starts to fuss.

Sooo.. the week. Well, I had my friend K around on Monday and made her chicken curry and egg fried rice, and we went out in her car. On Tuesday I cleaned the house. On Wednesday I woke up at 8.30. I had a lesson at 9 and it takes me half an hour to walk to college. MADRUSH. Lesson was cancelled when I arrived outside the classroom door looking like a mad woman at 8.57am. HATRED. Thursday, I went out with my friend J, and got very very very.. very.. very.. drunk. We got in at 4am, we also walked home because we had spent all our money on vodka. Not wise. And I was up for 7am. Pain.

Mum came home on Friday.

Work rang to say they didn't want me on Saturday so this weekend has felt extra long. Oh, and I had my last exam (English Lang) on Monday so now I've got coursework to do and I've taken driving back up, so am aiming to take my theory in Easter. My Grandad, bless him so, says he will pay for my "first" test.. I think he was implying there that I'll need to take more than one.. ha ha.. he may be right!

I want to try and pass for my birthday, and definitely before I leave for Uni.

I'm reading The Well of Loneliness and go through mixed emotions through it.. sometimes I think, "oh, wow, that must have be so difficult being gay back then" (not that the character is ever referred to as "gay") but then I think, "jeez, how depressing, and all because she fancies girls and not boys." I know it's not that simple.. maybe it is in my head.. but it really is a depressing story about lesbianism. I'm about half way through. I have got Tipping The Velvet to read after I've finished this. I suppose with Loneliness you really have to keep in the mind the time period.

I'm really busy at the moment! I like it though. I'm swimming after college tomorrow, I'm doing a health survey in town on Tuesday because I promised I would, and I'm going up to Liverpool in a few days which I'm excited about. I don't have much money at the moment but I've applied to a zillion places in town, grr.

Shaun ordered The Lakes on DVD about a week ago, I can't wait for that to come through \o/ John plays a scouser doesn't he? Hehehe. Love it.


My nails are v. glittery and I'm drinking malibu and coke. La la la.

It doesn't feel like Monday. I think because I had such a short day today, which I'm not used to, has made my brain think it's Tuesday. I had my first exam today, and it went alright. I don't really like guessing whether I did well or not, I always feel like I may jinx it.  I have History tomorrow afternoon, then no other exams until next Monday.

I'm going swimming after my exam tomorrow and swimming on Thursday. I've been for a run and a dance today. And I've lost weight! I got the dreaded scales out last week. I don't tend to use them, I get obsessed, so they've been under a set of drawers for about a year.

Oh my God, I love Kylie!


wow wow wow!

 Today was equally good and rubbish. I quite like Fridays, on the whole, but it started off rubbish as tutorial was cancelled. Despite my useless tutor making a big song and dance about tutorials re-starting this week, he cancelled, and if he had bothered to send an email out telling everyone that, I wouldn't have rushed in for 10 thinking I had to because class was on.

In retrospect it wasn't a really awful thing, as I did go to the library and do quite a lot of work. I had key skills before English, so I went, and my tutor wanted "a talk" with me. Uh oh. She said I have to pull my socks up (bascially) and do *something* in the lesson. I told her that I didn't want to be rude or disrespectful but I find it a complete waste of time and I know I'm going to fail.. so we devised a plan for me to finish my work for May and take the May exam.. but my heart isn't in it. I just don't care! It's not important to me.

So, I had English, and that was fine. We got our mocks back and I was quite pleased with my B. It got changed to an A through-out the lesson.. well, we went through the mock, and embarrassingly my teacher had made copies of one of my answers which we all had to go through. Ugrh. I don't mind because obviously it's a compliment but sometimes I get a bit embarrassed because I get slightly passionate when I write about certain topics. I don't really like all the mouthy airheads reading it... but I was pleased mine was good enough to be read out \o/ I'm not boasting.. I just love being good at something, I was rubbish at everything at school (or at least made to feel like I was) but it's so different at college.

I have work tomorrow, for the first time in a while. I got paid for a weekend that I had off. That's because my supervisor's on holiday and the boss who takes over whenever she's away is pure useless. I love it. I've applied for a new job anyway. I need more money. I have been at the hotel for a year in May and it's not like me to stick things out for so long!

Ohmigod I love E4's new advert... "watch Big Brother from the comfort of your sofa as Britain goes into moral decline!" Hahaha! It's so funny and depressing at the same time.

Hmm. Failed slightly with the diet today: had chippy tea. But I'm not giving up.. totally. There's a student friendly gym in the middle of town, so easily accessible and not too expensive. I might take a trip down on Monday and check it out.

The bad news from today is that I got turned down by Newcastle (uni). I know I'm being irrational by being upset, because my first choice is Liverpool and my second choice is going to the uni requiring the lowest grades - Essex - so I'd have to decline Newcastle anyway. I was just a bit annoyed, I suppose. Blow to the ego. They did want AAB and I know I won't get a B in History, Ann probably gave me a target of B rather than A.. it makes sense. I just know whenever I go to Newcastle now I'll feel bitter and rejected. Because I'm a geek like that!

 I changed my journal. I do this quite a lot. I think I've had about 6 xangas in total.

I just get bored. Really easily. It's rather bad. I blame it on my starsign..

I have two exams next Monday and Tuesday. I had a mock exam for English today, and have my real English exam the Monday after next. English is the one I'm most apprehensive about because I just want it so much.

We will see!








can't believe I got addicted to Big Brother. AGAIN. I say I won't, every year, I fail, every year.. I'm so sad..!

I had a filthy daydream about a guy in my English class today...

Won't be able to look him in the eye tomorrow..

Hate it when that happens.

 Why is it dark at 4 o'clock? Hatred. Britain. Dark.

 I feel sick. Don't want to go tonight. Am petrified.

Don't want to go at all. Wish I hadn't agreed to it.




oh God.